Jay Louis called me this morning. He called to say that he was thinking about me and wanted to see how i was doing. He is unbelievably, almost borderline disgustingly, sweet.

This is weird for me...maybe it's because I'm older or somehow more sure -- but this relationship(?) it just feels right. There's no doubt, no fear...although sometimes I get scared that I should get scared. I mean I know this isn't perfect, but it feels pretty damn close.

And when my friends have their relationship woes, there's a part of me that feels smug, that feels how lucky I am -- and then almost guilty why am I so blessed?

The other night we were talking, I said something about being away for a month...he knows exactly how long I've been gone. One month and two days. Seriously...who remembers me enough to remember that?

I just don't want to mess this up. I know I keep saying that, but really...really. I feel like I've met someone who is equally crazy about me. And it's good. He's good. This...whatever "this" is...it's good.