I find myself oftentimes nervous about this, nervous that one day I will wake up and Jay Louis won't be there. That some how I dreamt this all up.

This is the first time where I feel like I am just as crazy about someone as they are about me. Before I felt like I was unworthy of someone's love, as if i didn't deserve it, I felt like I was constantly working at keeping something I felt like I didn't deserve.

I know...and sometimes I fear that I don’t doubt. I don’t doubt that he has feelings for me and I wonder if I should doubt, if I should fear that this might go away. I don’t want to be naive into thinking that this will last forever -- I want to know that if I want it to, I’ll have to work at it.

It’s reassuring to know that sometimes he wonders too -- that he doesn’t doubt but that he needs reassurance sometimes. We all need to hear it sometimes, even when we already know.